I cry during movies, sometimes during the previews before the movies, at those jewelry commercials on television, and all the after school specials. As I’m snuffling into a Kleenex, tears dripping down my nose I think to myself what’s wrong with me? but I just can’t help myself. I’m overly emotional – I’m a crier, I’ll live with that.

The human condition deserves a few tears; every generation of people grows farther and farther from the way things are supposed to be. Nobody seems to notice. So I watch “Extreme Home Makeover” and cry over the policewoman with the severed spinal column caused by a bullet shot execution style into her body. I cry because she doesn’t realize this isn’t all life is.

I work in an insurance office. As nerdy as it may sound, I enjoy what I do for a living. When people have car accidents or their house burns down they call me and I cry right along with them. It never occurred to me there would be a person with a problem like this who didn’t inspire my empathy: Enter Mrs. W.

Mrs. W is in her seventies and has been insured with our office for quite some time. I assume her middle initial is “M” for Manipulation because it’s what she does so well. “O” for Obstreperous would work too or perhaps “V” for Vociferous; but I digress.

Every couple months Mrs. W comes into the office with another claim. For those of you who aren’t aware of what insurance is supposed to do – Homeowners insurance is built to be a catastrophe policy. Which means Fire, lightning, wind, hail, burglary and theft are covered losses. It is NOT purposed to fix your geriatric house every time a maintenance issue comes up. Mrs. W has not received that memo, in fact the company has paid out approximately 10x more in claims to her than she has paid in premium. For any of you who are homeowners or planning on being homeowners in the future, this woman is the reason your premiums will be high, they have to pay for people like her. The company has tried to cancel her several times, each time allowing her to stay with a higher deductible for damage. It’s only through our office’s lengthy discussions with the regional office she has been allowed to continue.

But then last spring came the hail storm *insert JAWS theme here* Mrs. W was standing out in front of our door the next morning, wailing and wringing her hands at the tragedy which had befallen her. A tiny enclosed porch on the back of her house had some holes in the fiberglass roof material from the hail. Almost immediately the agent contacted a service to do temporary repairs tarping the roof to prevent water leaking through the holes. However that’s not enough for Mrs. W. She wants it repaired yesterday, heedless of the fact over 6,500 other policyholders had significant damage to the roofs of their HOMES.

There are only so many roofing companies in the city of Madison. Unfortunately for her those roofing companies work on a priority basis. Our company has issued the check, she has to wait on them. As a courtesy to her our agent contacted the roofing contractor SHE chose to see what the hold up was. The outcome was Mrs. W would have to be patient and wait. Her tarp was secure and the roofing company was doing everything they could to move things along.

This morning Mrs. W strikes again. She has a routine, STEP 1 Confusion: Why is this happening to me? STEP 2 Blame: You people don’t know what your doing, my roof is going to leak and it’ll be all your fault for not doing anything, I’m $&%*#* tired of this. STEP 3 Renege: I’m so worried, I don’t hate you, you’ve done a good job. Step 4 Tears: pathetic sobs.

I have not one spark of empathy for Mrs. W Before you tell me how terrible I am for my lack of fellow feeling, just keep in mind sometimes what looks like a sheep, acts like a sheep, and sounds like a sheep is sometimes a wolf – Mrs. W isn’t chewing on cud.