In my deepest recesses of girly-girl I’ve always wanted to be the bimbo who’s the “beauty editor” for one of those monthly chick magazines like Allure or Vogue. I’ll never actually BE an editor for one of those magazines mostly because I am not hip, pretty, or slim enough to do the job and so by extension I can snort derisively and exclaim taking such a job would be an insult to my intelligence any way – free samples be damned!

Stereotyping at it’s finest compels me to say most of the hair stylists, manicurists, and estheticians I have met have sucked in way too many cans of xtra-hold hair spray. I can say these things without malice because some of these people are friends of mine. However it doesn’t make me blind to the fact they’d have issues spelling “cat” without a dictionary. HA! That reminds Brian Regan he did this bit in his stand up act called Stupid in School

Of course there are some people who break the mold. I met a really rockin’ make up artist once who works all over the world for AVEDA which is one of my favorite brands. She put colors on my face I would NEVER have used and shockingly enough they looked totally awesome. I use most of them everyday now, all thanks to her.

So this morning I was driving to work and thinking gosh-almighty my lips are chapped but of course ‘tis the season for such things and all I could think about is this the time of year I ALWAYS use chapstick/lip gloss. So if I can’t put my top ten lip picks in Allure or Vogue I’m going to stick them on my blog. (HA! Your captive, and it’s my blog so I’ll write what I want!) (well actually your not captive at all because you can navigate away from the page at any time. darn *note to self – fix that* So here they are, my top ten best picks for lip-chappy protection:

1. Lip Smackers – childish as they may appear a tube of this stuff will last indefinitely, come in flavors for the whole family, moisturize wonderfully, have SPF and to top it off you can get a variety pack of 12 this time of year for $6. So I mock you people with your $20 chapstick from Estee Lauder mine works just as well and per ounce I paid 1/10 of your price.

2. The Body Shop Lip Balm – All Natural and super moisturizing.

3. Victoria’s Secret Sweet Talk Lip Gloss – Moisturize with really tasty flavors. It’s obvious VS had more than chapped lips in mind for this gloss. *wink*wink*nudge*nudge*

4. Victoria’s Secret Mouthwatering Lip Gloss – Stays on FOREVER but a little bit sticky.

5. AVEDA Brilliant Lip Shine – For the boys they have plain old chap stick and for the girls they have a stunning array of colors which are more tints than anything else, I’m not a lip stick person so this is my color gloss/chapstick of choice.

6. Flirt! Squeeze Me Super Shiny Lip Gloss – Next to AVEDA this is my other color gloss of choice, my favorite shade is Bubbly Berry which looks super dark but just makes your lips look lush and pouty. Probably why they call it Flirt!

7. Chapstick Lip Moisture – when my lips are dry I tend to constantly wet them which only dries them out more, this stuff is great for lips that are already chapped and need some healing help. However if your planning on being in cold weather don’t wear too much of this stuff cause it will solidify on your lips. Flaky chapstick mouth is not very couth

8. Burt’s Bees – naturally good and pepperminty chapstick, this one also has the tendency to do the lip flake but since the average person ingests 4 tubes of chap stick in a given year you might as well be eating something which will give you fresh breath.

9. Temptations Cooling Lip Gloss – If you’re a sunbather you’ll like this stuff. While the rest of you gets warm the gloss stays cool on your lips. I dig Pomegranate Martini but this year I’ve had a slight obsession with Pomegranate scented/flavored things so what do I know.

10. Goldie Lip Kit - If you have an artistic flair you’ll enjoy this one, from clear gloss to fire engine red and you can mix all the shades together to create just the right tone for anything. No real moisturizing effects but very cool anyway.

**Honorable Mention goes to Philosophy’s line of lip products, they all come in kits with about 8-10 colors each but since I don’t regularly feel like spending 45-75 dollars on lip gloss it’s just a pipe dream.