I have finally made the decision that as a single person I DO have the right to comment on the life of a married couple. Yes, i may regret that later, but I can also delete this post at a later date leaving you nothing but a vague inclination of something-once-said-long-ago.
I've gotten finally fed up with women and their whole "he's not the man I married!" schtick. Yes he is, he's exactly the man you married, his butt is the same butt you were interested in, it was the rest of him you should have paid attention to. It's incredibly irritating to hear you hate everything he likes and you think he should change for you. Why should he change for you, did you really bend over backwards changing for him? BE HONEST. If you did, did he ask you to, no? Then whos fault is it really.
Can he really help it that he plays video games 12 hrs a day, didn't you realize this during courtship. Sure you did, then they were these cute little hiccups in your relationship. You dusted them aside of being little importance cause you spend maybe 8 hrs a week with him, and then he was focused on you, WELL DUH, of course he was focused on you, he didn't have you around the other 160 hrs of his week. He had those hours to fit in the rest of his life. I am sick of women blameing the man for not being a better head, better provider, better listener, more intune with my interests. Maybe when you were looking at him in the first place you could have trained your eyes a little higher than his rump and a little deeper than his face, and you wouldn't be in the mess you call today.
It's the easy way to blame him, right. Cause he is supposed to be all the things i just listed, but be honest, you made a decision, you said yes to forever, better or worse. So now you feel like it's worse. Well what are you going to do to make it better? It can't be you constantly telling him what he's doing wrong. Why would you berate him for things he thought you found attractive in the beginning. Why can't you encourage kindly instead of beating him over the head with the mostly proverbial/sometimes literal frying pan.
Ladies marriage isn't what you thought it was going to be, it's about what you'll become together, and if he's not the brain you thought he was, or the brawn you thought he was, or has the same emotions you thought he had. Don't give up so easy or cross him off as a lost cause, growth happens, and love was there once. So maybe you'd be better served saying. "He can be the man, i know he can be."